Thanks for answering my question lol. That was quite a long read but thanks for the effort of replying haha. Its just that being a nice person and care for people sometimes gets overshadowed by others that mainly care about themselves :/ thanks again anyway lol
lol XD sorry. i just felt like trying to help out as much as i can hahaanon, explain what you mean by “others that mainly care about themselves”
women are always saying how they want a nice guy…someone who will open up to them, spend time with them, do nice things for them, in general, be there for them.
next time i hear that from a woman, i will say exactly that. “bullshit.” because you don’t want the nice guys. sure, you can say you do all you want, and maybe you can trick yourself into believing it too. but the truth is - you want the jerks. you want the guys who show an interest in you, then back off for no apparent reason. you want the guys who don’t call you for two weeks, and when they do they swear up and down they’re committed to you. you want the ones who don’t talk to you, don’t open up at all (and you want to change them to boot!) if you do find a nice guy, you make sure he’s unattainable. he has a girlfriend, or he’s gay, or he doesn’t want a relationship at all. basically, you want what you can’t have.
you know how i know this? i used to be a nice guy. yeah, i’m the one you always come running to when the jerks screw you over. i listen to your problems, i offer advice. like all nice guys before me, and the countless ones after, i’m always there to back you up. i tell you how pretty you are. i tell you how fun it is to spend time with you, how cool you are, how you deserve great things. you say “thanks,” briefly, and then continue to rant about jerk #2873.
i tell you over and over that you deserve a better guy, and there’s always that “but…”. then you call me up at one in the morning some night just to tell me how he finally called you after two weeks, and how happy it’s made you. you make excuses for why he’s been ignoring you. you make more plans to change him. “if.” and, do you know what the worst part is? this is the guy you’re attracted to. this is the guy you’re willing to get physical with. this is the guy you’re willing to lose your virginity to. you make a big deal about how you’re not a slut, and you won’t just kiss any guy. but you admit that you would go all the way with this guy. or you want to. or, you already have.
no, you don’t want a nice guy. and don’t give me that bullshit about “a good man is hard to find.” there are millions of them out there. probably hundreds around where you live. and i’m willing to bet you know a few. you know that guy you call at any hour at night to talk about your relationship triumphs/problems? the one who always compliments you, makes you feel better about yourself? is always willing to drop whatever he’s doing to satisfy your needs?
what about him? no, of course not him. he’s not enough of a jerk for you.
and the worst part? you don’t want him now…but you will. when you get older, oh, say thirty, and the ticking of your biological clock gets louder and louder, and you realize you can’t play these bullshit games anymore, you stop going for the jerks and find the closest nice guy you can find. wait, i take that back, the absolute worst part is that we let you do it. we’ve been starved for your attention since puberty, and now we’re all too happy to get it. we’re nice guys too, so we accept you when you come around, instead of giving you the cold shoulder in return you’ve been giving us for fifteen years.
i used to be a nice guy. fuck that. i took the phone calls, i dished out the compliments, i listened, i gave so much advice, shit, i should have a doctorate in psychology conferred to me right this instant. i used to be a nice guy, and i figured that i didn’t need to actively look for a girl - that if i just got to know people, some girl would get to know me and really like me and develop an interest in me. i thought that i would make for an ideal partner, i’d open up with you, and be there as much or as little as you wanted me to.
i used to be a nice guy. what did that get me? twenty-one years of my right hand and softcore porn on showtime. so, fuck it. fuck it entirely. i’m not going to try to meet women and get to know them, and to hell with the phone calls at one in the morning. next time you start bitching to me over the fact that he hasn’t called in a week, i’m just going to smile at you and say “ok.” in fact, maybe, i’ll tell you to call him. better yet, go over to his house, and drop your pants for him right this moment. save us all some time. i feel the desire to be that good, dependable, caring friend slipping rapidly away.
i hate it when girls say, “all guys are the same.” no. all guys that you like are the same. admit it girls, you don’t go for the “nice guy;” you go for the cocky and confident guy. you go for the guy that can talk to you one day and ignore you completely the next. you go for the guy that couldn’t give a fuck about what you have to say or what’s on your mind. you go for the guy that has one thing and one thing only on his mind. fuck your feelings, all they care about is fucking you. and you girls eat that shit up. you fall for their fake ass complements. i bet you don’t know they’re saying that to at least five other girls. but you still give it up to them. and then you wonder why they dump you right after they get it in.
and then you become bitter. you start to believe that all guys are the same. that we all only care about one thing. you start to believe that there are no more “nice guys” in the world. but in fact there are. but they are all in the friendzone with you. you know, the guys that tell you you’re beautiful. the guys that are there to talk to you when the guy you’re infatuated with drops you for the next girl. the guys that you see as brothers. yeah, those are the nice guys. often, they are too scared of fucking up a friendship in order to tell you their true feelings.
so they give up. they give up the hope that you and them will one day be together. they move on. they eventually find a girl, not necessarily in comparison as great as you, but hell, it’s better than nothing, right? and then you start to realize what they mean to you. but it’s often too late.
If you've known someone for a long time and you like them but not sure if they like you back, what would you do?
there’s really only two ways you could go about this- to tell them or not right? lolif i was in in your position i’d think about the pros and cons for each. pros/why i’d tell them:
why live life with regrets or with the question of 'what if?' wouldn’t you rather know if they liked you back or not than to keep on wondering?
why not take the risk? be spontaneous ;) lol
if i was in your position, it would bug me so much keeping my feelings for this person. i’d rather get it out of my system i guess.
if you’ve known this person for a long time (not sure how long in your case). maybe you might’ve been through a lot, you know each other very well, then you’ll have to think about if it’s worth taking the risk of losing what you’ve already got with them but think about what you could have. you could have something greater.
everyone likes knowing they’re appreciated by someone……
cons/ why i wouldn’t tell them:
i’ll take the ‘knowing the person for a long time’ as a big con :| or something that i would have to think about a lot beause i wouldn’t know if it would be worth taking the risk of losing what i’ve already got with this person but if you can assure you that no matter what the outcome is, that you two will be okay or still friends, then why not?
and so on…i have more pros because to be honest with you, i’ve been in this situation before and, yup! i took the risk. turns out the person didn’t feel the same way but i didn’t regret telling them because i was glad it was out of my system- i could finally move on from it knowing how they felt and that i wouldn’t have any chances with them. and yeah, we’re still like how we were before (well, kinda but other factors made us drift apart not the whole telling them how i felt bit lol) so defo no regrets :)i really hope i helped and sorry if i went on for so long lol good luck :)
you havent changed have you? you can try and fool yourself but you cant fool the ones around you. honey, i know whats bothering. just fight it! i know you can prove them all wrong just keep reminding yourself what you chose and WHY you chose it okay? keep your head up, like i said he definately won't fall for you if you keep on frowning. that smile is too beautiful not to be worn. now go to sleep xxx
seriously, who are you? =| and thanks again.. i guess